How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
