I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈ðŸ˜
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
