His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
