somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
How does one acquire holy water?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize