do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
