i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
