It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
