Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
He kissed a someone with a penis
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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