Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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