i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
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