i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
