Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
