what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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