Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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