I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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