So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
