Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
