remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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