Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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