dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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