I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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