But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
and you fell through a lawn chair
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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