I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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