Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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