she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
