The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
