I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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