Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
