I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
