How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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