Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
