never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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