Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
