Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
