you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
