I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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