I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
