Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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