Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
