I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
