He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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