So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
