do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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