is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Randomize
