Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
