Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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