Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
