He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
