I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
After last night, I could never be a politician.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
