I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize