Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize