OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize