that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
i need some magic done to my vagina
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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