if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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