You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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