my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
