I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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