dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
