I like to think it a success when the cops are called
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
