were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
